


Computer Literacy

by henriettaholden



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-16
Updated: 2011-08-16
Packaged: 2017-10-22 16:35:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henriettaholden/pseuds/henriettaholden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>William the Computer Nerd walks into his dorm to find naked Varsity Cheerleader Buffy in nothing but a strategically placed keyboard and mouse pad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Computer Literacy

Computer Literacy

William was completely floored. A blonde girl dressed in only a strategically placed mouse pad and keyboard was lying in his bed. Surrounded by computer parts. His pants had already put in a complaint to his brain. Stretching denim was ill-conceived.

“Ahh…” The stutters began and wouldn’t stop. Or maybe he was silent. William couldn’t distinguish between what was going on in his brains and what was real. He was pretty sure the blonde girl was a computer program dreamt up by his roommate, Andrew.

“Hi! I’m here to be tutored.”

The program was speaking! The program was speaking perkily!

“I’m not very computer literate. My friend Willow told me you could help.”

[Program: William’s brain]  
>>Execute  
>Speech: ______________________________________________________  
>Thoughts: nakedgirlnakedgirlnakedgirlmousepadnakedgirlnakedgirlnakedgirl  
>Action: Wring hands/ breathe heavily/ don’t. move. a. muscle.  
>>Loop

He really shouldn’t be creating his own programming language when a keyboard was the only thing between William and the first pair of real live, in the flesh tits he’d ever seen.

“William?”

“I’m sorr–huh? You know my name?”

She didn’t move. She couldn’t sit up. But she definitely huffed. The keyboard rose. So did William’s temperature.

“William Pitt. Take off your clothes and get over here right now!”

That voice. Suddenly, he recognised her. His eyes were finally drawn to her beautiful face.

Shit.

The most popular varsity cheerleader was naked on his bed in his dorm. Wearing computer hardware.

God if only he had some Ethernet cables to tie her up and keep her forever in his…

“Stop daydream and get stripping!”

Will glanced at his computer, hoping Andrew hadn’t been toying around with his faster net connection and leaving porn videos for visitors to see.

His computer was a shambles.

He looked back at Buffy.

They were _his_ computer components lying across her _components_.

Holy fuck.

He doubted his ability to reconstruct the PC without shaky hands, deep blushes and a continuous hard on.

“William…” The teasing voice from his bed brought the terror of nakedgirl back to the forefront of his mind.

He wanted to ask why him. But he was still having trouble recalling his vocabulary.

“Please, William. I want you to teach me all about these parts. I _need_ you.”

He was eternally grateful that she didn’t burst out laughing when he fell on his arse in the hurry to get the jeans off his backside and subsequently landed on a USB device.

“OW! The fucker!” William picked up the device from beneath him and saw that it was the end of his Dalek webcam. That would have come in handy if his computer wasn’t in pieces. He would have been, finally, able to prove he wasn’t a virgin. And he would have had a sex tape with a cheerleader.

“What are you thinking about down there?”

“Whether anybody would buy our sex tape.” Of course his brain decided now was a time to recover the lost vocabulary.

“We’re going to make a sex tape? You have cameras set up in here?” She carefully turned her head to survey the room, her hair’s movement causing the tresses to spill past her shoulders and reveal more of the curves of her breasts.

“Um…no. I landed on one.”

He held up the Dalek.

She softly smiled and her eyes did that annoying twinkling thing that he thought he’d never be the cause of. And then he thought how horrible his previous thought was because you should not leave a conjunction at the end of a sentence. Bad grammar, William! And that sentence was a fragment.

“William!”

“Hmm?”

“I’m naked in your bed and you’re thinking about…?”

“Grammar.” His head ducked and his floppy curls covered his eyes. William cursed silently, knowing she’d be closer to running back to the cheerleaders with every word he spoke. What was coming was worse that he could ever expected.

“Right? Well, this was a stupid idea. I should have known you were gay, living with Andrew.”

“WHAT? I am NOT!”

She had already pulled the sheet up the bed, the pieces of hardware falling to the wayside in her escaping attempts.

“Well why haven’t you jumped me?” Buffy’s voice was unreadably steady, her head turned away from William’s unchanging gaping-hole face.

“I had to memorise every beautiful curve. I’ve never seen a naked girl before.”

Thank you vocabulary!

“Oh.” She blushed and drew down the sheet, the keyboard falling to her lap.

The gaping-hole dropped further, William’s jaw beginning to ache.

“Woah, that’s certainly a python you’ve programmed to up.”

William looked down then back at Buffy, awe written across his brow.

“You know about Python?”

“Are you kidding? That’s all Willow talks about. You know I room with her, right?”

“Oh…yeah.” And then something grew on his lips. She’d never seen it before; he’d always hide away beneath his light brown curls in class. A deadly smirk. “So that means you’ll understand me when I request I RAM my _hard drive_ into your gorgeous I/O device.”

She groaned. Good-naturedly. But also in an “oh-god-cheesy-computer-jokes-during-foreplay-aren’t-a-turn-on” kind of way.

He stepped closer and kicked the pants off his ankles, and then drew his shirt up and over his head.

The look of hunger that shot out of her eyes, nibbled along the lines of his notched abs.

He gulped. She watched the journey of his breath down his throat and into his lungs as his chest rose and fell.

“This start up sequence ever going to fully boot?”

“Huh?” William’s vocab had split again, his eyes never leaving the glazed-over lust he’d sought and found in her glance.

“Can we please start having sex now?”

“You really want to do this with me? William Pitt?”

“Yes, William. I’ve wanted you forever.”

He was on top of her like peanut butter was on top of jam. At least, that’s how William made his PB&J.

“Why? Why me?” He asked between kisses he skimmed across her face, continually missing her lips.

“Because you’re real.” She answered softly, grabbing his head and forcing his lips to finally find hers.

It was like he found Douglas Adams all over again. Except way hotter.

Her tongue flicked out of her mouth and touched his closed lips, easing its way inside William. She dominated him from inside to out. No-one had ever touched him before, let alone been inside of him. He was on Cloud Three Squared.

“Hmm.”

“What you thinking about?”

“Square rooting.”

Buffy giggled and grabbed hold of his prick. She guided him towards her glistening port and whimpered when he slipped out of her grasp and hit her clit.

“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve installed your sound card, baby.”

“Oh, god that was worse than the RAM jokage!”

He decided to prove her wrong. One thrust and he had her sheathed on his cock, balls tickling her skin.

Buffy looked up at Will with such a great reverence that he lost all reservations. He wanted more with this girl. Nothing would stop him from obtaining that want. He wouldn’t let any insecurities pass now that she was his in body. He’d have her in mind and soul soon enough.

Buffy had obviously noted his distraction and started rhythmically pulsing the inside muscles she didn’t train at cheer practice.

“Motherboard FUCKER!”

His eyes were so wide he thought he looked like Wile E. Coyote during his falling off of a cliff.

“Me too, Will.” She shoved her lips against his again and he began to move, her whimpers and groans almost shoving him off the cliff with the ACME Orgasm anvil tied to his ankle.

“Buffy…I need…I’ve got to…STOP!”

She blinked and looked up at him in surprise. She immediately began to pull away but he gently slumped down on her body and grabbed her hands to place on his bare buttocks.

“I’m not going to last the way we were going. You keep pace.”

She nodded and bit down on her bottom lip, grabbing the muscular ass and steadily pushing him up into her.

She began thrashing beneath him, the pace torturous but she refused to make him speed up. He wanted to make it as long as possible for her and she was only too ready to comply.

“What do you need, Buffy?”

“I need you in my ass.”

He stilled. Silence.

“That didn’t stay in my head, did it?”

He slowly withdrew from her body with a groan.

“Oh god. Really? I’ve never–,”

She didn’t care. She reached down to slather her fingers in juices and began to work them into her ass.

“Holy shit.”

His eyes really were popping out. For real. Out of his skull.

And all William could think of was ‘how the hell did he get the most popular varsity cheerleader in his bedroom, fucking herself in the ass?’

He had to look away to catch his breath, which was when he noticed his gaming joystick on the bed amongst the other hardware.

Buffy was still prepping herself when she felt something invade her, relishing the plastic inside of her.

“Oh god. I’m so ready right now.”

“Don’t worry, sweet. I’ll fill up your parallel port.”

Buffy chuckled until she felt his head touch the rim.

“You ready, love?”

“Yes, William. I’m ready for you. I’ve always been ready for you.”

She couldn’t say anything else. He was being sucked up inside of her until he was suddenly coming. His hands fumbled, trying to bring her over at the same time, desperately trying to manoeuvre the joystick in time with his clit rubbing.

A few seconds she fell, the feel of him still semi-hard inside of her behind the thin wall that housed the joystick and his hands desperately flicking the bud had her kicking the rest of the hardware off the bed and slumping against him.

He slipped out of her and they lulled into a post-coital silence.

“William?”

“Hmm?”

>>Vocab enquiry  
>non responsive

“Come with me to the Gamma Sigma party?”

“Hmm.”

“Was that a yes?” His armed curled around her waist and pulled her as close as physically possible.

“I’ll come with you anywhere, anytime, any platform. You sure you’re not a program?”

She turned slightly, letting her lips rest against his neck.

“I’ll be your naughty little porn program. Just like the one on screen before I pulled apart your computer.”

He sat up, his eyeballs now completely disengaged from his eye sockets.

“You’re…you know…are you…you’re a NERD! You naughty minx!”

The end

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Note:**

>  _I came up with this idea the other day when my mouse fell off my desk and landed in my crotch. Shadow on the Spuffy Realm chat box funnily enough pointed out that my pussy was catching mice. So computer porn here we are._ Originally published at Spuffy Realm on October 21, 2008.


End file.
